FYI: THIS IS MY SERIOUS FACE....
ARE YOU ALL READY FOR MOM'S FIRST ANNUAL PURR-FUR-MANCE REVIEW? Lo and behold, I just discovered February 18th is the Annual Purr-Fur-Mance Review sponsored by
Cat BlogosphereAll who know me, know that I often have to give Mom, (hereafter known to as M), demerits for a job done less than purrfect. So today I'm featuring my review of M's Purr-Fur-Mance.
Demerits given from 0-10 with 0 being a job well done and anything under 0 is sheer PURRFECTION .
1. ATTENDANCE: Even though M is a working mom she attends me quite well.
a.Food Service: She understands that it is of utmost importance that I be fed before she does anything in the morning and I mean ANYTHING. My dishes may not have any leftover food on them. My water fountain must have fresh, flowing water every day. She understands when I'm standing at the pantry door it is time for my evening serving of "Temptations, Salmon Flavored" treats. I always get 4. Yes I can count. If there are less than 4, the pacing will commence until there are 4. If there are more than 4, I'm quiet as a church mouse.
b.Grooming: M understands grooming is essential for a Diva to maintain her status. I have no thumbs thus I cannot hold a brush. When I stand in front of the drawer where my brush is kept, M drops whatever she is doing to brush me. I Do NOT like pedicures but with the help of Dad, M is quick as lightning so I tolerate it.
Dermits: 0
2. VERBAL COMMUNICATIONS: I don't speak Southernese, M doesn't speak Meownese. Sometimes I have to repeat myself until she reads me loud and clear. Dermits: 4
3. RECORDS/CORRESPONDENCE: M keeps accurate and detailed reports of my likes, dislikes.
She opens my fan mail in a timely fashion and displays the appropriate excitement. She is quick to send out my thank you notes. However, I have repeatedly told her to discard any junk mail from *Hidden Valley Animal Clinic. She refuses therefore Demerits: 8*
4. PROBLEM SOLVING: M excels at problem solving but it is only because I was a wild child when I came to live with them. Even as a wee kitten, I was a JUMPER. If there was a flat surface, I got on it and the higher the better. My favorite spot to investigate when I was a wee lass was the top of the G-father clock AND once I was caught chewing on the finial. There was no where to move the clock Mom wrapped the G-father clock in a quilt secured with, you guessed it, duct tape. This is just one of the many problems she solved early on. I kept hearing M and Dad say their first cat (Milky-Way) never did any of those things. MOL Life must have been boring with him.
Demerits: 0
5. BUDGETING: The money spent on bird seed etc SHOULD be saved for the Diva fund! Demerits:10
6. ENTERTAINMENT: This is mom's best category!! M keeps my toy basket full of very interesting toys. Several days a week, we play with Da Bird. She lets me catch him every so often then I pretend to tear his guts out. Of course I cannot forget the lovely new bird buffet and bath she set up this past weekend. I'm told it will offer hours and hours of non stop aggravation entertainment. She keeps fresh
'nip on hand for when I get really bored. On top of all of this M has lots of interesting hobbies that I'm allowed to snoopervise. She especially likes for me to sit smack dab in the middle of the Wonderword jumble and she enjoys it when I swat at her hand as she writes. All in all, I know M is always looking our for me to be sure I'm happy, comfy, well fed and receive just the right amount of stimulation.
-2 Demerits
Respectively submitted to my lady-in-waiting Mom,
Madi the Diva Cat
