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Wednesday, February 26, 2020

Wordy and Wordless Wednesday:Anniversary Dinner

We all know I can be I'll try to condense this as much as possible.

Last Tuesday, February 18, 2020 we went out to dinner for our 50th 
Anniversary, which was February 14th.
Raleigh is huge and there are so many delicious restaurants from which to choose.
This year we chose a locally owned steak house where we have spent
numerous birthdays and anniversaries over the years.  The food is outstanding, 
steaks cooked to perfection and one of the absolutely best salad bars that I have ever seen.
I guess you could say it was a trip down memory lane and a desire to support small
business owners.

I'm adding a few very pretty snow pictures from last Friday
they will serve as the Wordless part of the post!!!  

 Now to set the scene for the drama.
It was a warm day for February about 63 F.  Meals are cooked on built in gas
grill in an open kitchen.  The small dining room can warm up quickly so they have to
have the temperature a bit chilly from the start of dining hours.
It is an intimate establishment with ~15 tables in the main dining room for two and four diners,
all about 2' apart.  They have a banquet room that can be used also.
Due to the size of the dining room most folks know to arrive before 5:30.
We arrived a few minutes before their 5PM opening and were the first to be seated.
While we were waiting for our server (maybe a minute or two),
the dining room began to fill up quickly. 
Once seated, you wait for your server, to give her your order  then proceed to the salad bar.
Which we did.

So this is what happened:
Within a few minutes the  hostess guided a group of four to the table beside us.  A late-50ish y.o. female, exclaimed in a very loud, rude voice,"it is cold in here, can you do something about it".  The hostess replied, I'll see what I can do. Then one of the younger women asked in her best screeching indoor voice, Do you have a bathroomThe hostess directed her to the loo.
 I soon discover the older woman was mom to the three adults with her.
Rather than sit down they all went directly to the salad bar.

Things went downhill fast.
Once all were back table they started eating, talking with their mouths full. 
The conversation at the table between the Mom and the younger daughter was not suitable for dining at home and certainly not in a  public venue.  Loud, obnoxious and argumentative and at one point rather raunchy. I won't even go into details
other than to say if you are old enough to remember the movie. was much like that. If you haven't heard of it, you can ask Gigi Google to 
link you up.  

Other folks around them were glancing over and shaking their heads.
Our meal arrived it was delicious as always, our server was kind, efficient and attentive.
Finally we were ready to leave. You don't pay the server you take it to
the hostess at the front.   The Chef was standing by her.  He asked how our meal was,
to which I replied excellent as always but the ATMOSPHERE was BAD.
He asked, because of the table beside you?  I replied YES... 
He goes on to tell us they have been coming in at least once a week for a few months.
The restaurant constantly receives complaints from diners.  The owners are trying
to figure out how to solve this growing problem.
I am certain this behavior would not have been accepted once, much less several times at
any of the nice dining establishments that are not locally owned. Since this locally owned, I expect the owners are worried  this bunch will cause a scene and probably sue them.
If they continue to let them dine there, I'm certain they will start to lose business.
Dining there is pricey, we always enjoyed it but will not be going back for a while.
I truly hope others who had their nice meal ruined complained.
Other than let management know how we felt there wasn't much we could do.
Other than eat and suffer.


The burning question in My Mind's Eye, what would you have done

Yesterday, on Comedy Plus' Happy Tuesday,
I found the perfect quote to sum up this fiasco.  
Sandee this was most timely, thank you.

Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience. Mark Twain


  1. I'm so sorry that the Flodder Family picked exactly this day and the same restaurant. I probably would say something.... I'm with Caligula now, since I'm an ole bat : let them hate me, as long as they fear me.

  2. A 50th anniversary is a big occasion and it is a pity that the ignorant family spoiled your experience. We had that in the summer and asked to be moved. It was a bigger restaurant and obviously you couldn't do that.
    I am usually very easy going, but if something really annoys me I have to speak out. I would have asked them politely to mind their language and keep their voices down a bit as it was spoiling my meal. They sound the sort of people who would have ignored the request and probably been unpleasant about it. This is where the restaurant owners should step in and tell them to toe the line or not come back.It is obviously a popular restaurant so they will lose more customers by doing nothing.

    1. I forgot to add, if they were unpleasant about it I can give as good as I get and more!

  3. What a shame that had to happen and on your anniversary. I wouldn't return to that restaurant for quite some time and hope that after a long break, that family would have moved on. Love the snowy shots!

  4. I'm torn between voting with my feet and walking out or asking for another table. The owners should have gifted you your Anniversary meal! They truly need to deal with the self-absorbed unbelievably rude family. I am sure it won't be the first time they have been asked to straighten up or not bother to return. I am sorry you had to deal with the whole situation on your anniversary.

  5. Oh that is sad that you had to deal with those people. We think the restaurant should have done something. Anyway, it is too bad that it happened. You all have a good day.

  6. Man, I hate rude people. hahaha, on the blog today.......we were at the rude table on Saturday. I could have crawled under the dance floor.

    It's a shame the restaurant will be punished because of them. I would suggest to them to make them wait. Telling them that they could not seat them....... for a long while.

  7. DH has made a point over the years to find the best table in the restaurant that offers us the most intimacy and privacy possible so that we can better enjoy our dining experience. We don't eat out often so it's a treat for us when we do dine out. I understand the restaurant owner's dilemma. You can't put anything pass people such as what you described because you just don't know what will happen next. The change has to come from the heart and in our society these days, we see a lot of rude, intolerant, and spiteful individuals who don't care about YOU. Do what you can to protect yourself and try to enjoy yourself the best you can despite of the situation.

  8. If I owned the place I would have been keeping great notes (dates, times and the rude conversations) on these rude folks. Also with the many complaints from other diners. Then when I had enough I would ask them to leave and never return. They sue, I go to court with all the documentation. Vivid documentation. It works.

    As for my dinner. Please get it to go and we're going home with my meal to enjoy in peace, even though it's my anniversary. I've done it. Not on my anniversary, but I've done this. It's just not worth being around people like that.

    I'm so sorry this happened to you. Some people have no filter or boundaries.

    Thank you for joining the Wordless Wednesday Blog Hop.

    Have a fabulous Wordless Wednesday. Big hug, honey. ♥

    1. Excellent advice Sandee! If they don't have a camera already in place they should get one.

  9. At least the food was good but they, the owners, know what's going on and are letting it happen they deserve to lose the business. Sadly I'm sure the Dad would have had words and probably poured coffee on them.

  10. It's always upsetting when there are rude people who spoil things for others. We're glad you had a good dinner.

    The Florida Furkids

  11. Oh, I'm so sorry you had your anniversary dinner spoiled! I think the owners need to know that the Rude Diners might cause a stink if asked to leave, but they'll be losing business from the REST of their clientele if they don't do something!

  12. It's too bad you had to endure such rude behavior at what should have been a nice dinner for two. We hope the restaurant owners do something about that family soon and ban them from returning.

  13. Wow! no idea what I would do. I don't think I would say anything because you never know these days who has a gun in their purse and will use it... twice we have gotten up and moved to another table, but not in a restaurant like that. one was Culvers because of perfume and one was a Buffet because a woman came in for lunch and the child with her was so sick he could not sit up and was laying half on the table.. people are crazy. I would think the owners would have to have a private talk with them and ask to tone it down.. that could be dangerous also.

  14. I am the type who would have stood up, walked over, and asked them if they realized that their voices could be heard by everyone, and that they need to keep their private conversations quiet! I don't tolerate rudeness like that.
    Great quote from Twain!

  15. In today's world, it is always difficult to confront people like that directly. Mom says the best thing would be to discreetly talk to the manager, and then the manager needs to take appropriate action. No one should have to be subjected to that kind of behavior in a private establishment.

    We love seeing that snow:)

    Woos, Lightning and Timber

  16. First of all, we love your header! That is sure a sticky situation. The fact this is intimate dinning really makes this a big problem! I think the owner is going to have to give them a choice to either tone it down or leave. Maybe they can add a surcharge to the bill for being obnoxious.

    Your Pals,

    Murphy & Stanley

  17. I have always maintained that you can not legislate intelligence. Those (ladies) are ignorant and rude. Sorry your special day was marred by them.

  18. That is always a nightmare. I say I would have done one of two things. Gotten up and left and told the hostess why, Or... Gone to the Hostess and asked how they will handle the ordeal. As long as this behavior is tolerated by owners of businesses, more will follow. If I had to, I would go to a lawyer and ask what my rights are these days. Sadly those rights are eroded with correctness so badly now it's hard to know what one can do. Not like that even 20 years ago.

    But the sooner the owner asks a lawyer what they need to do or CAN do to stop people like that from staying, the better off they will do. That it seems to have come to having to ask a law professional what to say and do for basic decency purposes...that sure tells a lot about what is tolerated now.

  19. And Happy Anniversary again you two dear people. XXOO

  20. Sounds like my late SIL. She was horrible in restaurants. I probably would have done nothing. Just not returned. Perhaps the restaurant should place them at a table way in the to the toilets or kitchen door and cook them substandard meals.

  21. Wow! That's a terrible situation for the customers and for the owner. Not sure what's the best thing to do.

  22. Your snow pix are so pretty!
    Sorry about the disruption to your meal - that's really too bad. Honestly, I would have just done my best to ignore the people. If they still really bothered me, I would have told the waitress about it during the meal and would ask her to encourage the people to tone it down. It's not an easy situation!

  23. Such a shame it put a big damper on your Anniversary celebration. Sometimes, unfortunately there is not much one can do. You don't want to start a fight and I'm sure they would have!! Had the same issue standing in line at Disney the other day. A young kid hopped on a railing next to me and screamed in my ear. (Young boy and Mom were cutting the line mind you.) I commented to Rolf and said Wow, he was loud. The Mother heard me as she was cutting by and said you got a problem with my son? You want to go at it? Let me tell you, if I wasn't in line at Disney, them be fighting words! She was so loud and rude. But I let it go. Unfortunate I think she's raising her little one the same way. No manners.

  24. They should probably post a sign saying "We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone" And then when and if they return they can point out the sign and tell these folks to go elsewhere.
    If I had been sitting there I would have nicely asked them to please be quieter.

  25. I'm pretty sure we would have done something very similar to what you all did...How sad that some people just don't seem to care about how their actions effect others.

  26. It’s too bad that your anniversary dinner was somewhat ruined by these rude people. It always amazes me how some people can be like that. I don’t know what I would have done. Probably shot them dirty looks the entire time, though I probably wouldn’t have said anything to them. Because people like that would have just made things worse if you say something. The restaurant owner is in a tough spot too.

  27. Sorry your anniversary dinner got tainted by those awful people. XO

  28. The snow pics are beautiful. And that restaurant better figure out what to do soon, because I know they have already lost business. Why do people have to be so rude and vulgar?

  29. An accidental spill of a drink on a lap or a head usually works.

  30. I am so very sorry that happened to you on your wonderful anniversary. The photos are fantastic. I can tell that it's a special place.

    I hope that the restaurant can figure out how to handle it. Perhaps a very special menu with prices 10X as high as usual just for that table?!? Ha ha.

  31. That's such a shame.....but it's something we run into in every type of restaurant these days because you can't keep "certain people" out. You have to attempt to be fair and unbiased and even when you see big trouble coming you can't do much about it. Seating those people in a place out of the "limelight" is about the best you can do but even THAT is tough. Remember the days when people dressed up to go out to a nice restaurant? Gone! The restaurant is obviously aware of the problem but unable to "fix" it.

    Hugs, Pam

  32. Just catching up here. What an unpleasant situation. And difficult. Not being good at confrontation I would probably have just sat there and fumed, and possible pointedly asked the restaurant if I could be moved to a quiet part of the restaurant. Although, from what you write, that probably would not have been possible.
    Last week I had a retirement dinner at an Aberdeen restaurant with eleven of my colleague. The food was great (Middle Eastern) but even better was the civilised atmosphere that enabled us all to have a really pleasant conversation without shouting.
    Anyway, better luck next time.
    Cheers, Gail.


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